Identity, Memory & Becoming

The New York Times called George M. Johnson’s memoir and manifesto All Boys Aren’t Blue “An exuberant, unapologetic memoir infused with a deep but clear-eyed love for its subjects. Johnson lays bare the darkest moments of his life with wit and unflinching vulnerability.” Despite the praise, it’s also a book that has been banned in 8 states and 29 school districts for being what its vocal critics call sexually explicit, pornographic, and inappropriate for kids. It is a shocking story in many ways. George details being molested by a family member at 12 years old and how that colored their views of trust and intimacy throughout their life. What it was like to have their first consensual sexual encounters without the knowledge or preparation for what that meant physically and emotionally. The book is uncomfortable and unexpected for the reader at times. Does it cross over into pornography and inappropriateness? Definitely not. In the book and in our conversation, George paints different, nuanced possibilities for black boys, pulling us from the obscurity of self-erasure into a declarative existence. What does it look like if you get to define for yourself who you are? What if you find love and brotherhood and companionship with other black men, as opposed to just fearing one another? What if you get to paint with all the colors of the rainbow, not just blue?

“Should we attempt to foster meaningful, human connections and engagement in the workplace?” This is the core question of my conversation with author, keynote speaker and workplace belonging expert Smiley Poswolsky. But our conversation in many ways isn’t about work, or the devastating financial implications of the epidemic disengagement of the workforce today. At core, our conversation is about what type of world do we want to live in; do we want a world of connection and engagement, or do we not? Your perspective and views on this question impact everything in our society, from work to play, from church to school, from whom we choose to value to whom we choose to forget. It is THE animating question of our time and our ongoing question about what is good citizenship. What is good humanity? The answers will either bring us closer together or further stoke the flames of division and misunderstanding. On a basic, fundamental level it comes back to the "house divided" principle: we stand together, or we fall together.

Hugh Huffaker is serial entrepreneur who follows the passions within him to guide his choices in business, and as you will hear, in his life. He is the Founder of Cause+Medic a consciously crafted CBD luxury wellness product line that he created to help relieve his mother’s legs spasms that she was experiencing from Multiple Sclerosis. And he co-founded Clean Republic, an EPA certified disinfectant that harnesses the power of nature and technology into cleaning products. That’s in addition to owning his own spa in Bueno Vista, CO, his pursuits as a jazz guitarist, and at one point – working as an accountant. His life and career journey have been a series of taking risks, listening to his unique internal voice as an entrepreneur, and not being afraid to fail. His success, according to Hugh, is based upon his ability to keep an open heart and say yes to the unplanned and unexpected events that always appear in our lives. As for that failure, Hugh believes we shouldn’t fear it because it is inevitable in business (and in life). And more than a source of embarrassment or regret, he views failure as a tool for learning. He says, “Everybody questions everything when you start a business. You’re going to get questioned and you’re going to fail. But the failure’s good because you’re going to keep learning.”

This fall, Zelda Adams entered one of the top universities in the world – Columbia University. Like all the other freshmen in her class there are pictures of her parents dropping her off at the University and their tearful goodbyes. Unlike the other freshmen in her class, in the years of her life preceding Columbia, Zelda traveled around America for a decade in a RV with her mom, dad and sister shooting movies. Award winning horror movies that have become cult classics and caught the attention of the New York Times and Vogue, Rotten Tomatoes, and Shudder Films. Hellbender, The Deeper You Dig, and Halfway to Zen to name a few. And in between all of that, she has managed to make a career for herself modeling for some of the top brands in the world – Theory, Marc Jacobs, and Gucci among other great fashion houses. And create a #makeitvogue video on TikTok for Vogue. But what excites Zelda today about her new life at Columbia? She will tell you it’s the unknown story that is being written. As she says, the real story is where she will be in 20 years. It could be a whole new life for her.

Skyler Maxey-Wert has lived a life of highs and ovations. From the moment he left home at the age of 13 to study at the American Ballet Theater School in New York City to moving to Dresden, Germany to dance with the Semp’Oper Ballett four years later, he has lived a big life on some of the world’s preeminent stages. That bigness continued this year when he received a triple standing ovation and golden ticket to Hollywood from the “American Idol” judges with his version of “For All We Know.” Through it all he has remained thoughtful about the successes of his life and the complexities we face in the world today. As Skyler says, the most important thing that he has learned from all that he has been able to experience as person and as a creative artist, is to know his worth.

Dr. Johnny Parker is an executive coach, relationship architect and author of the book Turn the Page. His message is clear. No one has the right to write your narrative. It is in the quiet and disciplined hours of self-reflection, where we can discern the true purpose and story of our lives. He also reminds us, that our words have power. And that we should take care with how we speak to one another and to ourselves. His offers us common sense wisdom, spoken plainly from his life’s experiences where his mess has become his message and his pains his purpose.

Regina Bain is a woman of contrasts. Her life is about threading the needle between the world of the mind and the world of the heart. Above all, she is a woman willing to take the risks of speaking up and speaking out in a world that often requires conformity and alignment. Like Louis Armstrong, the man whose legacy she is tasked with protecting and expanding she says of herself, “I am thinking about the choices that I am making about where I will use my voice, and the repercussions of that. And what I am willing to risk. And for me, I choose to engage.”

As Lead Digital Strategist for President Obama’s political advocacy group OFA, Caleb changed how the public interacted with the President. In his new role as Co-Founder and Managing Director of 18 Coffees Consultancy and author of the newly released book No Point B, Caleb encourages us to think of constant change as a core competency of 21st Century leadership and personal growth. As Caleb says, we are living in the Zero Moment of Truth. And what we need to decipher the power of this moment is wisdom, critical thinking, and self-reflection.

In his own beautiful way, Charlie Davies - host of Morning Footy on CBS Sports’ Golazo Network - teaches us that each new day is a gift. Each sunrise is second chance. Each interaction we have is an opportunity to put a smile on someone’s face. Beyond his immense philanthropic efforts as the Director of The ‘Quin Impact Fund, and his expertise as a CBS Broadcast Analyst, Charlie’s legacy is that of creating hope from no hope, of creating a brilliant tomorrow, from an uncertain today.

In our conversation this week, Lucia Brawley, Chief Creative Officer of AMP Global Technologies, and I explore the uncomfortable, real conversations about identity, race, representation and who gets to say who is or is not part of any ethnic group. A fascinating conversation as we live in a time where the truths of the past are daily questioned and challenged and re-examined.

The necessity and relevance of art is a conversation needed today given that we live in tumultuous times, not unlike the 1960s. And if we are going to have this conversation, Lisa Channer is a voice that must be heard. She is a director, producer, dancer, performer, educator, wife and mother.

Dr. Bryan Williams is a determined executive coach, author, husband and father. But most of all he is a man of faith. And he has used that faith to propel him through the unimaginable journey of his life and career. He reminds us that faith is the essential ingredient required to let go of what we are holding onto in order to grasp the unforeseen and unknown gifts of greatness that lie before us. As he himself says, his life story is predicated on “an interesting mix of anxiety mixed with supreme confidence and supreme faith.” Thank you for sharing this lesson, Bryan. We are better for it.

My conversation with Hugh was a reminder about what life and careers can look like when we are genuinely who we are and when we approach our time on the planet without the label making machine and just explore the many facets of our lives. Underneath Hugh’s laid-back persona is a quiet and inquisitive strength that we can all learn from. Hugh, thank you for your time and your heart centered wisdom.

There is a lyric from the Broadway musical, “Once on this Island” – “And if the gods move our feet, we dance.” The gods have certainly moved Skyler Maxey-Wert’s feet for almost 20 years. From studying at the Jacqueline Kennedy Oasis School of the American Ballet Theater, to performing with the SemperOper Ballett in Dresden, Germany he has learned some valuable life lessons: you have to have the tools to maneuver through the rigorous training and expectations of the dance world with grace and kindness towards yourself, you must breathe into the space of being an artist as opposed to just trying to be perfect all of the time, and most importantly, there is room at the ballet bar for all types of people and body types. Skyler certainly has wisdom beyond his years.

With his honest telling of his struggle through profound prescription drug and alcohol addiction, Quentin Vennie gives us soul stirring life lessons. We can turn our traumas into our triumphs. We all have to receive forgiveness and extend it to people who hurt us, even when we don’t want to. And in a world where society often strips people of humanity, when we have the courage to tell our stories to one another honestly, that’s when we can feel and see each person we meet through a lens of empathy and compassion.

Regina’s life and work have been a series of incredible victories based upon her ability to stand in the present reality of her life and take firmly in her hands the opportunities before her. Her immense creativity and critical mind are on full display in our conversation. She reminds us all that we must courageously ask ourselves the questions what is the goal of our hearts? and what secret desires move us? And when the answers come, you have to move joyfully in the direction of your soul.

In my wide-ranging conversation with the brilliant Rachana Garg, I was reminded that the antidote to chaos is not a staid peace, but rather a radical dose of empathy, detachment, and curiosity. Empathy is the vehicle to build community with the people in our world. All people. Not just our cohorts or political comrades. Not only those whom we go to church with on Sunday morning, or synagogue on Saturday night, or no church at all.

My conversation with my dear friend and colleague Pun Bandu was a great reminder that we are not here to be supporting players in our narratives. There is power and freedom in recognizing and embracing with open arms the wide dimensionality of who we are, even if who we are doesn’t fit into a neat and convenient category of who the world, our parents, and even our friends think we should be. As Pun reminds us so beautifully, we must break free of prisms that prevent us from being the heroes and emotional engines of our own lives.